On Thanksgiving Sunday I was involved in a car accident. It was the first time that I was driving a car and was hit by another. It was scary. I was lucky. It could have been a lot worse given that I had a small car and the other was a truck. I don’t have the names of the witnesses of the accident who were quick to help but I am putting a big thank you out there to them all. You are such gems. I came out of it with bruises, some minor cuts, but with a concussion. The cuts and bruises are gone but the concussion lingers on. For those who have experienced a brain injury before, you will most likely relate to the feelings of frustration and of impatience that I am currently going through. The first few days were filled with headaches, nausea, lack of concentration, loss of words, and tiredness. 11 days later and while the nausea is gone, most of the other symptoms remain. I thought that the headaches were gone but when I tried to go to work last week, I made it to mid-morning before I was exhausted and a headache was starting to creep up on me. I have been working from home but even that is still tiring. It’s frustrating to know that you are probably functioning at a fraction of what you are capable of, and it’s even more frustrating to not be able to tell how far along you are in your recovery. Will it be better tomorrow? What about by the weekend? I have been going out on walks and those help. I also tried some cycling today and that was okay, a bit of vertigo though which was unpleasant. Slowly but surely though I hope that I will be back cycling and climbing. A big thank you to my lovelies for being there for me on that day – a raincheck for dim sum, yes? And another big thank you to the friends and family who have been checking in on me and joining me for walks or visits throughout this time, it is mucho appreciated! This lady can go a bit stir-crazy after awhile.
With all this extra time on my hands where I am forced to be slow in my day and my body forces me to rest, I allow my thoughts to wander. It has been an interesting internal adventure to allow myself to be still in my body yet wander in my thoughts and feelings. I look at my relationships (family, friends, love interest, work, even sports) and I have been allowing myself to connect with those relationships in order to appreciate them for their beauty, and to try to understand those that are not quite clicking – and why they aren’t.
Yesterday’s events here in Ottawa – as well as the recent one in Saint Jean sur Richelieu - have further added to the introspection that I have been living in lately. The seemingly senseless killings of two of our soldiers just for what they represent. Things just don’t always make sense. So I want to say thank you. Thank you to all of those who continue to keep us safe – you know who you are. Thank you to those of you who continue to learn, to grow, to understand others. Our freedom of choice and the chance at opportunities will not be lost in these senseless actions. While there are some aspects of Canada that I cannot fully relate to, it’s like any other relationship, it takes work. It takes energy. It takes courage. It takes communication. It takes understanding. And most of all, it takes love and hope to make it work. Like my other relationships, I am choosing to be all in.
